What we want. . . .the Men.

The question has been asked for centuries. What is it that Men want in a Woman?
Let me go ahead and tell you, this is not going to be about being pretty, or smart, or funny, or having a good personality, or any of the hundreds of myriad things that people say when asked that question. This is the down and dirty! The be all - end all, undeniable FACT about what we want. I'll go ahead and tell you. You will smack yourself in the forehead and do a Homer Simpson when you get to it. This will also raise more questions than it answers, but I will get to all of those eventually. Yes, I already know what you are going to ask. I know, you don't believe me. Just keep reading.

What do all men want? Can it be quantified? Can anyone live up to the ideal? The answers is, at once, both simple and hard. Let me explain. It is simple because guys are looking for some very basic elements as to the women they prefer. Sadly enough, most guys don't know what they are looking for because they don't do a lot of thinking on the subject. Well, at least not a lot on what it is about women that they are attracted to. We spend plenty of time thinking about the particular Woman and what , um, . . . charms. . . she possesses (keeping it PG here). But I digress, we don't think a lot on quantifying the qualities we are looking for. We just know it when we see it. That makes it a little difficult for the ladies to know what it is exactly that brings in the men. So Mr know it all, what is the answer? Be patient and I'll tell you. Here are all of the wants and desires of every Man boiled down in one sentence. Are you ready. . . . "Men want a lady in public, but a whore in the bedroom". (Insert Homer Simpson moment)

Sounds simple doesn't it. Well sounds, much like looks, can be deceiving. Go to any club, what do you see? Who has the most men hovering around. The women who are dressed most provocatively, no doubt. That is because she appears to fill one of the two needs to be the perfect Woman. If you can't have both, men will usually accept a little slutty in public as a trade-off if we get what we want in the bedroom. Sadly, for a lot of women, that is not enough to keep men around for the long haul. So how do you put out the slutty vibe, and still be a lady? That is the hard part ladies. But I can help you out there too.

How can you be a Lady in public and bring the guys in by the dozen? While not exactly cause for a smack in the forehead, this too is deceptively simple. Think about all of your male friends for a second. When they talk about a woman to other women, what qualities do they point out. Yes, they say she's hot but what else. Personality, smart, funny, blah blah blah. Nope, not really what it is. Sorry, but that is not something a guy will be able to tell you. The reason is simple, Chris Rock said it well "Men don't have women friends, they have women they haven't slept with. . . yet". So a guy is not going to give you the Whore part of the equation. He is going to give you the PC, keep the option open answer. Well what does that have to do with the price of tea in China. Just how is that supposed to help? What is the answer? Again, patience is a virtue. Just not one that men care about too much until after they are married to you. But here it is.

How to be a lady in public, regardless of how you are dressed. Be a woman, and let the guy be the MAN. I'll give you a breakdown of the Man in a later post, but for purposes of this post, let the man remain what he is in his own eyes. Let him be the stallion he thinks he is. Even if you shoot him down, let him save face. Protect his ego and you will be a Lady in his eyes. It might not be enough to cover up belching and farting in church, or spitting tobacco juice on the floor, but it will cover up bad hair, a Fran Dresher laugh, and/or other things that aren't perfect.
How is that going to help bring in the eleven others Mr. Wisenheimer? Simple, if a Troll approaches and is not horribly maimed by your sharp wit and biting tongue, other (less troll like) guys see the face saving smile and the troll walks away without his shoulders hunched and shame written on his features. At this point, the unwritten rules of being a man (also for a later post) invokes "The Challenge". Other men will approach and see if they can be successful where less adequate men have failed. It is a matter of pride. Remember this, there is no bigger part of a man, or more fragile, than his ego.

Obviously there has to be more to it. There has to be something that can be defined, an ideal that can be held up as the epitome of all women. Sorry, the individual quirks of the men make it too subjective. Some guys like blondes, some tall women, some busty (well, we all like that) but the point is that some men place higher priority on the physical and some more on less tangible parts of a Woman. But it all boils down to the two basic wants of a man. To have his ego stroked and to have sex. If one is filled, you can do without the other for a fairly long time. But if there is no hope of ever getting the second part of the equation filled, we move on. Questions?