the missing link has been found. . . . we are it.

Ok, I know I said I'd give you the rating system. Actually, over the course of this blog, I have made several promises about later posts that have fallen through for one reason or another. I feel that I need to explain in the effort of full disclosure. I will eventually get around to it. That is a guarantee. You just have to wait for it, even though my reward is not the same. You'll understand what I'm talking about after this post.

Men are simpler forms of life than women. Some might say less evolved, others might say men have reached a higher state of conciousness. Both would be wrong.

Scientifically, we are not as smart as women, if you consider complexity and emotional range as a sign of intelligence as many in the scientific community believe. While men are not inferior in intellectual capacity to women (or vice versa) we are at least less complex, mostly due to societal trends and behavioral boundaries. These things we learn from our fore-fathers and influences.

A little background to help you understand the mindset. Men are problem oriented. We look for the best solution for a given problem and go with it. The first solution is usually the best one. If the end result is the same, it doesn't matter how we get there. We have a need to be right, and need the acknowledgement that we are right. We hate to argue, unless we are right. Then we will argue with a brick wall and are just about as flexible as one on that issue. We live life on our terms, and don't consider that we might be wrong until something falls apart. We are simple creatures.

Basically, Men need three things to be happy (we want others, but these are the NEEDS),

1. regular sex (regular in frequency and in style)
2. regular sex (regular in frequency, not necessarily in style)
3. regular sex (regular in frequency, a combination of regular and irregular in style)

That's it. That is the sum of a man's desires. Everything else we want we can get from our buddies. Guy's want to hang out with other guys 90% of the time. We won't admit it to you, because of want #1, 2 & 3. We really just want to do guy stuff unless we are filling on of those 3 needs. Don't believe me. Ok, here is a scenario for you. Tell me if I'm wrong.

1: We start a project and let it sit half finished for the next 6 months. Then we'll finish it off in two days once we get tired of the complaining and nagging about it that inevitably ensues. Sounds like us, right? Why didn't we finish it in the 1st place?

All because of want #1 and as a reward, we might get #3. I'll explain. You add something to the honey-do list. We get around to actually starting it. You are happy. We get #1. We make good progress. We get #2. We stall out and don't finish it. . . . . We might get #2 again as a bribe. You nag us. We start on it again and get #1 as a reward. We finish it. We get #3 as a reward, possibly twice. If we had just ripped it out and closed the project out in a day or two, we get #1 and maybe #3. That's it, the best we could hope for. If we wait an eternity and then start and drag it out, then we get Two #1's, Two # 2's and at least one #3. (see how our minds work now, no, but your getting closer)

We want to drink, fart and scratch and not have to worry about offending anyone. We love crude jokes, and think of all women as sex objects on some level, no matter how enlightened we are. We are hunters. We pursue, we attain, we celebrate the achievement. We keep score because we want to win. We want to see ourselves as the best, or at least better than the other guys we know. That is why we like sports so much. It's aggressive and masculine. We all want to be masculine. We are (at least in our own minds) the dominant and stronger of the species. We don't have to win if we know we could. So we might lose on purpose, maybe. . . . especially if it is a coed participation event and there is a possibility of our losing making #1 and/or #3 possible. Do we tell you this? No! Why? Because we have our needs and offending you is a sure way of inhibiting our getting them fulfilled.

We want to hang out with the fellas and drink beer, watch the game, come home late and get rewarded with #3 for coming home. Will that ever happen? Not likely. What happens, is that we cut out our friends, sublimate most of our wants and desires to keep you happy and hopefully get rewards for our good behavior. We work, so You'll feel secure and give us #1. We come home, so You'll feel special and give us #2. We buy valentines day junk, you guessed it, so we can get #3.

Ok, I'm not saying that this is right. That we should be insensitive pigs who only think of ourselves, just that we do. Actually, the only difference in an enlightened man and your average Joe. . . . those of us that are enlightened would rather hang out with women most of the time. . . . provided she likes to drink beer and watch sports. Women have better conversation during the commercials. Plus, there is an outside chance that you can get # 1 or #2 during half time and possibly #3 if your team wins. Much better to be with the ladies than a bunch of gassy drunk guys at that point.

See, problem oriented. We come up with an equitable solution and stick with it, even if it isn't the best. Simple creatures.