The mind of a genius, or just as likely an idiot. . . . too close to call.

It is cold, drizzly, wind-gusty, and an incessant drip from the eaves is falling onto the window pane. This is slowly driving me insane. I can hear it over the i-tunes playing from my desktop since it has to be at an acceptable "office" level. So, no Bill Withers blasting at 139 decibals (since hearing loss occurs at 140 decibals. . . . safety first I always say) to cover up the plock. . . . plock. . . . . plock. . . . facial tick. . . . . plock. . . . . . . plock. . . . . . . cringe. . . . . . plock. . . . . . you get the picture.

Well, in an effort to stall the insanity until I can call it a day and go home. (plock) I was listening to the voices in my head. No, they are not Cybill like voices or separate entities telling me to kill people or that I am the Christ, but they are all different me's. (plock) It's like I am a big company, and there is a big workforce of little me's running the show. It's like a unionized workplace. Each mini-me has a (plock) specific job and basically controls that part of me. For example, the maintenance man hadles all of the daily druggery of teeth brushing, bodily functions, showers etc. The Dietician (plock) makes sure I eat, the Doctor monitors all bodily functions, and so on and so forth. Sometimes they have to get together for scheduling conflicts, some times necessity (plock) puts two or more individuals needing the same task accomplished so their is coordination. As with any other corporation, sometimes one person or group's needs take priority over anothers. There is a Board of Directors (plock) and Managers, so to speak, of the most intelligent and wise mini-me's that handle most things, but anything that requires decisive and conscious action has to be approved by a majority of the council and ratified by the CEO. . . .that'd be me. (plock)

So, now that you understand the way it works, these voices in my head are telling me to smash a chair through the window and remove said offending drippy eave or (plock) window pane with a sledge hammer and crow bar (both of which happen to be in the corner of my office right by my hardhat and safety glasses -- remember, safety is your responsibility). Anyway, as CEO, I recognize that I will be creating a different (plock) and much bigger problem if I do as my mini-me's want me to. As that that is all any of the mini-me's care about right now, I am having a hard time in finding a way to get them to move past this and on to other things. I have tried working diligently, I even made some business calls, and changed the music selection to accept the discordinant drip sounds (plock) more bearable.

The Board has suggested that I

1. take a 1/2 day and just go home,
2. screw the office mandate for music levels and crank it up,
3. put on my headphones and drown out the world,
4. stuff marshmallows into my ears thus damping (plock) and blocking the sound waves sufficiently and therefore rendering me temporarily hearing impaired,
5. and finally, eat a bag of loud crunchy chips to cover up the drippy sound.

There is a reason I have these guys as my Board of Directors, these are all good ideas (except that marchmallow one). The 1/2 a day sounds best, (plock) especially sice it is Guy's Night Out and I will be going and eating Chili and burping and farting a lot from from about 5:30 until 11:00 or so. It would be nice to spend a couple of hours with the wife and kid. But, since I only have 3 vacation days saved up and I want to take the family to the beach in a couple of months. . . . not the best option when weighed (plock) out against quarterly goals.

As the office supervisor, (right below the office manager, Company/Office VP and Company President -- making me #4 on the totem pole) I can't really say screw the policy. . . . I helped establish it. That sucks, but again sacrifices have to (plock) be made. Additionally, too many calls and intercom messages to really block out the world, so that's out. I have dismissed the marshmallow idea out of hand and now have to set up a performance evaluation with "drunken party mini-me" to determine if I need to replace him on the Board. I'm not really sure how he got on the Board in the first place unless he was just a carry over from the days of military and college life me. I probably (plock) need to keep him on the Board just to keep things fresh. I guess I'll just give him a stern talking to and then let him have a little more say at tonight's festivities so he'll know I still rely on him. . . . the ego on some of the Board members is so fragile sometimes (plock).

The chips idea sounds good, especially some Zaps hotter than hot Jalapeno's. . . . MMMmmmmm! Then again, meeting in a little while and I don't want nasty chip breath. Plus, since I am going to be eating chili and stuff tonight (plock) and I haven't exercised my allotted 4 times (try 2 instead), then the chips would be detrimental to another of the quarterly goals. Basically, the smash and bash option is sounding better and better.

As CEO, sometimes you have to make command decisions. I am going to get out of my office and go work on some plans in the (plock) conference room, take my ipod with me and have the receptionist send most of my calls to voice-mail and then go home two hours early and use a little sick time. . . . sick of being here time that is. (plock) Oh, the maintenance supervisor just called up and said we need to empty the body's urine receptacle. . . . . I don't know why he refuses to call it the bladder, but I gotta pee, so I'll talk to you later.

How does your mind work? (plock)