The day is not right somehow. I shall dub it "The Day of the Finger"

I am having a day. I feel off. Not melancholy or sad. Not sick. Just OFF. Don't know why. Don't really know how. I Need something, I just don't know what. Want something, just don't know what.

Today is a day I could quit my job for no apparent reason. Just say "screw it" and walk out. Even though I have a wife and child with another on the way. Even though my wife would have an aneurysm, COBRA insurance would reduce my savings in a matter of weeks, Murphy's law would state that my car would breakdown or a trip to the emergency room would be in order. Even though every rational, clear headed part of me would vehemently oppose such a move. Today, in the right circumstances, I could throw the throttle forward and "damn the torpedoes", as the saying goes. Clearly, it would take a little impetuous, I'm not going to go postal because someone left the coffee pot empty and I have to wait 3 minutes for a cup of java. Really though, I don't think if it came down to it, if I had the choice thrust before me. Take a big ration of crap or walk out and leave the finger high in the air. . . . today would be a day to fly.

I am capable of anything today. I am unpredictable today. . . . I mean really. Something that I would never ever ever in a million years do. . . . . I could do today. I could shave my head and join a biker gang today. Tomorrow, I would be calling and asking for my job back, looking for a hat and trying to set an appointment to get that Hell's Angels Tattoo removed. But today! . ! . ! . I could eat a sandwich. . . . with mayonnaise. (gasp!!!)

You just don't know crazy that would be for me, let's just say that under normal circumstances. You would be more likely to see me riding with the Hell's Angels and shooting at cops than eating mayonnaise. It is more likely that I will have sex with a teenage hooker on national TV, as the half-time show of the Superbowl (Janet's boob in the back ground), on my anniversary with my wife in attendance and on stage (with a weapon that could maim and or kill me in hand). . . . . than to eat mayonnaise. Oh, and my anniversary is 5 months away from the Superbowl. I'm just saying. That is how I feel today.

Ever feel that way? I may need to get away for a few hours and go fishing . . . . that never hurts.

I'll try and post occassionally now. . . . . maybe I just miss blogging. We'll see.

How to start the new year off right. . . . . .

I thought you guys might get a kick out of this. I have another letter that I have to write to a golf course, I'll get it out when I get it done. I love the customer service department!

To Whom it may concern:

I am very dissatisfied with this whole MP3 downloading thing you have going on over there at Amazon.com. I usually download from i-tunes or one of several other mp3 sites and figured I'd give the amazon mp3's a chance. I was here, it looked to be easy, so why not. I first went through the settings and made sure everything was set up like it was supposed to be - as taken directly from the website's recommendations - which is something I have rarely had to do before (and not with i-tunes) but what the heck, it takes 2 minutes. That was New Year's Eve , mid-day. I then tried to download the CD (again, following the directions from the website). Guess what happened. . . . Nothing, Nada, zilch! "No music for you," shouted the music Nazi as he snatched away the Mp3's.

I apparently downloaded the cd that never was. It shows up on the purchases, but not in my media files, or in my download history, or on my computer - anywhere. I e-mailed a question about this to the help department that same day (Dec 31, 2007 about noon), it has now been 2 full days since I ordered and was charged ($9.99) for a Mp3 album download that I still do not have, nor was I contacted about after my e-mail to the help department. I'm not sure how you can call it "customer service" if you provide no service to the customer. It may seem to you by now that I am a little irritated. That would be a good asessment of my emotional state.

I can not begin to describe to you the frustration this is causing me. I want my money back. I don't even want the download anymore. I'll get it from i-tunes since I have NEVER had any problem with a download from them. . . . ever. . . . with over 500 downloads from i-tunes I have had 0 problems. With 5000 or so Mp3 downloads from other providers, I've had a few problems, but they were fixed that same day or refunded asap - so no harm no foul. With you guys, 1 download = 1 problem that is STILL UNRESOLVED! Do you have a solution that would be good for both of us, I will listen. As it is, I doubt I will be recommending you guys to my friends. And yes, I may seem like a friendless shut-in who rants and raves to "customer service" people to have the semblance of a personal life, but I assure you that I have a lot of friends (real ones - not just ones in my head) and they will all hear of how great my amazon.com Mp3 experience was.

Now it's up to you to determine whether that last comment was sarcastic or not. . . . . not now though. Now it is sarcastic because my experience has been similar to the plucking of nose hairs 5 at a time. . . . try it, you'll understand. You could make that comment not sarcastic though. The ball is in your court, simply FIX THE FREAKIN PROBLEM! and you no longer sit at #2 on my most hated list. Let's just say #3 is the anti-christ, so that should give you a clue as to how fond of you I am right now. . . . . Not you personally . . . . Customer Service Representative, sir. . . . . uh, Ma'am. . . . . who-ever. You, I would probably like and you would probably like me. I have a likeable personality. Everyone says so. Anyway,

Since I have serious doubts as to wether this will be getting a reply either, I'll probably call "Customer Service" too just to see if that might possibly do some good.

Amazon.com order number: D0X-X446605-XX56XX7 Order Total: $9.99
Digital Order: Dec 31, 2007 Recipient: Spaceman Spiff

Items Ordered: The Road To Escondido [MP3 Download]By: J.J. Cale & Eric Clapton
Price $9.99
Item(s) Subtotal: $9.99
----
Total Before Tax: $9.99
Sales tax: $0.00
----
Total for this Order: $9.99

An Analogy

Hi there people. . . . and maybe non-people. Is two months too long to go between posts? I was thinking that I needed to get in gear and post about some of the things that have been running through my vast grassland of a mind. The problem is that if the posts get out of my sight, I lose them in the savannah. Oh, there are signs that the are still out there. Living, breathing, growing of their own accord. I just don't know quite how to catch them again.

It's like the nice landscaped zoo that I call a mind has turned into a wildlife park with no interior fences. So, a little baby zebra post comes to life and wanders into the high grass to be lost from sight. I have no idea what happens then. I mean, I've ear tagged the little fella and on a few, I've even put a radio transmitter to be able to locate it again. I'm pretty sure that more than one of them are now far too wild for me to catch, short of a tranquiler dart, and tame to something that could be readable and enjoyable. A few, no doubt, have succumbed to the other wildlife that roams about in my mind. There are lions and tigers and bears (I'll leave the "oh my" to you) and the occassional pack of wolves or hyenas. THere are even some ferrets, stoats, weasels and badgers running around. Really, there are animals in there that would never be together other than in a zoo. Some were extinct thousands of years ago, but they are living in my head. Some never existed anywhere else. . . . . like the crocagater, the hippomapatamasaurus, and the platapus (I'm sure you think we went to the moon too. . . . . pfffft)

It's a wildlife park, not an African Safari park. . . . . some of my animals don't get along (lions and tigers) . . . . or tigers and anything else. Really, it's several ecosystems thrown together to see what is going to be strong enough to survive and flourish. Clearly, not everything I have going on is going to make it. The Rabbit population is highly endangered at this point as is the mink and a few rodent species. I really am worried that some of the animals that I'd like to keep around are going to be reduced to a non-viable species before too long. I know I don't need those particular species to have a bountiful ecosystem. It is a hodgepodge of things right now and really, there are several species that are filling the same role and competing for the same sustaining elements. I guess that is just survival of the species, and the law of the wild and all that, but it is a little frightening.

I mean, as the only resident in my mind - for the most part anyway - I have eliminated or am in the process of eliminating all detrimental human contact so things can flourish as they were intended. But how do I get out of the way and let that hyena (which I dislike and think is ugly and unpredictable) to eat all the defenseless lambs? Realistically, the hyena provides a much needed service. They winnow the herd, they clear up carcasses that could breed disease and decay and there aren't too many of them. Plus, they are pretty easy for me to avoid, so they pose no real danger to me. Sheep on the other hand, don't really do much in the way of good for the environment. Yes, they trim the grass, fertilize and inspire new growth, but a ton of other grazers do that too. Basically, lambs are cute and playful and make me smile, but the hyena takes care of the natural order. Should I interfere with the natural order of things to impose my will, or should I let things be as God intended them? Y'know what I mean?

I think I am at a cross roads. Do I choose the wide path or the narrow way. I know which one I SHOULD choose. I just don't know if I can. . . . completely.

The return of Swamp Guy and Gal

Ok, a long awaited post to, maybe, brighten your weekend.

If you recall, when last we left Swamp Guy and Swamp Gal, they had just decided on a vacation spot. . . . the beach. Well, I could relate to you all the sordid details of their trip and possibly of some of Swamp Guys harrowing escapes from certain doom, but I won't. Suffice it to say, the beach was not as dangerous as Swamp Guy had originally thought. Apparently, this section of the beach was mostly the Old Swamper's section. Not a lot of opportunity for Swamp Guy to ogle, and in turn be maimed by Swamp Gal for said ogling. There was an instance or two that Swamp Guy considered maiming his own eyes to prevent a future occurrence of seeing what no Swamp Man should ever see. . . an aged and wrinkled Grandmother in a String Bikini. . . . .retch - retch - gag -cough. . . . . shudder!

This is a tale from not too long after that event. This was another trip, but one for Swamp Guy alone. Well, alone with half a dozen or so other Swamp Guys. It was not a planned Mammoth hunt (where you need several people) or even one for Rhino (again, safety in numbers as well as lots of spears to kill the beast). No, this was a recreational adventure. A trip to the mountains to track and slay the terrifying beast of the water. . . . the Whitewater.

Well, you might think that you would need lots and lots of people and porters to carry all the myriad supplies someone would need to tame the Whitewater beast, but you really need surprisingly little. See. there is a whole village of guides with everything you need to tame the rapid beast. And yes, that is rapid and not rabid - who ever heard of water having Hydrophobia - that's just plain silly.

Anyway, Swamp Guy went to this village of, let's call them "Guides" from the clan called Adventure Outfitters and was suited up in the appropriate safety equipment for his own adventure. *quick aside* You wouldn't think that there would be much in the way of safety equipment in the first few years that Swamp Guy and Gal had crawled from the primordial ooze, but there was a lot. There was a "vest" that would float and make Swamp Guy buoyant if he fell out of the "Raft" he was to traverse the Whitewater Beast in. There was a surprisingly cheesy and light weight helmet for Swamp Guy to protect his noggin with. I think it was carved from wood. A very lightweight wood. Who knew the primitive were so safety conscious? *end of aside*

Swamp Guy was also given the weapon with which he would tame the wild and deadly Whitewater beast. There were actually 10 beasts in this particular stretch of the wild waters. They ranged in danger from a class 3 to 4 with one or two Class 5's thrown in for the fun of it. Swamp Guy would have to brave and survive all 10 without being maimed or otherwise permanently mangled by the large boulders and sharp rocks that were the Whitewater beast's favorite weapons. That and, as I secretly suspect, the collusion of one or more of the Guides from clan Adventure to slay any impertinent Swamp Guy intent on taming his or her section of the river.

Yes, I said Her. Swamp Guys "guide" was of the Swamp Gal sub-clan and was far and away better looking than any of the Swamp Gals (other than his own) that he saw at the beach. Who would have thunk it. The general consensus is that Beach = scantily clad Swamp Gals and therefore good, Mountains = inbred, toothless, tobacco chewing Swamp Gals who can burp the Star Spangled Banner and therefore bad. *myth buster* Francis Scott Key only wrote down the words to the Star Spangled Banner. It was actually an ancient chant used by the Prehistoric Swamp People to describe their home close to the volcano. He modernized it a little with the rockets and all, but it was still plagiarism.

Anyway, chiseling a photo of Gal Guide out of river stone was not really an option since it would be exceedingly heavy and Swamp Gal would most certainly NOT want to hang it up in the hut, not to mention the time and effort. So, what she looked like was lost to the annuls of time. Lets just say that Guide Gal was 5' 10" of lithely muscled limbs, long flowing locks of near golden with ample (yet proportionate) curves in all the right places and in defiance of gravity, tightly clad in a stretchy and thin fabric of unknown origin that did little to conceal what was actually beneath it. Especially when the water temperature was about 60 degrees. Her flotation vest pushed certain attributes UP into prominence and did not conceal other attributes at all. In hindsight, the vest probably wasn't really needed since she could have floated well enough without it, had she been so inclined.

To make a long story end before it gets any longer. Swamp Guy survived his adventure was able to ogle and then discuss with the other guys in the relative safety of their camp later on. All in all, it was a good trip.

The things you learn on company time. . . .

Had a web seminar today. Engineers are the most boring people in the world. . . . well, maybe not the MOST, but that meeting was as dry as Hawkeye's Martini's. Anyone who gets that reference is my new blog crush.





Anyway, I thought you'd find this interesting. It is a personality test that is supposed to be useful in determining your strengths and weaknesses in the business community. Kind of a "you are here" so you can look at the model of successful business people and see the areas where you need some work. It was after all the ONLY thing of interest during the training session today other than the free lunch.








as a side note, I took it again after I had done some other stuff. It was basically the same, except I was a Visionary Motivator. - pretty much the same except I am a little more of a people person the 2nd time around.


That's me. It was pretty accurate in the details too, though some of the questions seemed a little opposed. I am sometimes more one way than another as the situation demands, that option was not allowed. Anyway, I'll get a real post out one of these days soon . Here's the breakdown (it's kinda long). Oddly enough, it doesn't show any area where I completely suck. . . . go me!


Your 4 Quadrant Style Guide
Left-Brain Abstract (Analytic): Think in terms of facts, details and ordered information. (secondary - adapt to as the need arises)
Left-Brain Concrete (Conclusive): Think in terms of problems and quick solutions. (secondary characteristic - adapt to as the need arises)
Right-Brain Abstract (Synthetic): Think in terms of large, global concepts and ideas. (primary characteristic - natural response)
Right-Brain Concrete (Interactive): Think in terms of conversation. (primary characteristic - natural response)

Communication Style
A Natural People Person
When you are walking down a corridor or a street, you like to greet or stop to speak to someone. People just love to talk with you about anything. That's because the positive energy that you give off during conversations develops an instant bond with everyone.
You love to interact with people. It doesn't matter how many people there are or at what level you're communicating; you do it effortlessly. Conversation has been extremely natural to you your whole life.

You have a wonderful sense of humor. When people are with you, they smile and laugh a lot. Whether it's telling a joke you heard before or sharing a spontaneous ad lib, you're naturally funny and entertaining. Your humor and ways of communicating are constantly creating situations that relax and motivate other people.
Strategic Creativity

Unless people know you very well, they won't realize that you are quite capable of creating strategic plans, following intellectual pursuits and developing new, abstract theories about how things integrate or function. You're able to look at the whole picture, break them into discrete, unusual parts, and synthesize these into unique wholes or strategic plans. You thoroughly enjoy discovering creative options when thinking through difficult problems and challenging ideas.
Motivating and Leading Others

When it comes to dealing with people and problems, you use a combination of intuitive and rational thoughts very successfully. Your positive, personal and intelligent ways of relating to people make them want to follow you during times of confusion and stress. It's when the situations are dynamic and need optional thinking and/or in-the-moment organization that you're able to step forward, take command and lead others towards successful outcomes. This is when your style of leadership becomes most effective.

Even if you're not knowledgeable about a subject area under discussion, you come across as smooth and intelligent. It doesn't matter to you what conversations others are having or what topics they're discussing, you can join in without missing a beat. That's because you intuitively know how to listen to the underlying messages being delivered and how to successfully respond to people intellectually with just a few facts.

How You Learn
Besides reading and studying, conversations and dialogues provide you with an enjoyable opportunity to learn. It's during this repartee that you're able to ask any type of question: logical, analogical or just odd ones to serve your curiosity. One of the best ways for you to learn and to be motivated is to belong to a study group, particularly one that has members who are focused on the objectives and deadlines. The process of these groups can provide you with the focus and further detail to study and learn effectively.
Speaking in front of Groups

Speeches and presentations to small or large groups come naturally to you. You can either be prepared or wing it when making a speech. The latter, with a few notes jotted on a piece of scrap paper, is your preferred way to present. Also, you'll use theatrical intonations and gestures, personalized comments and anecdotes with humor, integrating them around facts, logic and important points. When you have finished, people leave your presentations feeling that you have presented a solid case, you have touched them personally and you have spoken to each one of them intellectually.

Your Leadership Qualities
As a leader, you're a powerful combination of intellectual insightfulness, future predictions and personal charm. The former allows you to plan and think things through intuitively and logically. The latter allows you to be empathetic and personal in your expression of motivation and planned action. The two of these combined give you the positive power that people trust and follow.

Communication Tips
People who have a predominantly Left-brain Abstractthinking style thrive on careful analysis of all pertinent factors before making any decisions. Their style is naturally systematic and detail-oriented, characterized by the pursuit of logic, predictability and discipline. They may appear distant and aloof at times, as they prefer to listen rather than talk. They tend to stick to the rules and stay within the confines of their orderly world.

When communicating with a Left-brain Abstract person, you are likely to experience the following characteristics:
You might find their passion for logical analysis to be ponderous or overly pedantic at times, but if you keep an open mind, their conclusions could be beneficial to you.
In situations where you must collaborate on a project or a plan, their tendency to stick to the rules can be limiting to your own creative visions. Present your optional ideas as logical alternatives worthy of consideration.
They may appear distant and aloof at times, as they prefer to listen rather than talk. Don't take this personally or assume they're arrogant. Remember that they're absorbing and processing information before they render an opinion.
They can be a valuable source of background or historical information, which you sometimes tend to overlook while you aim for the "big picture." Nevertheless, expect them to provide more details than you might care for.
People who have a predominantly Right-brain Concrete thinking style thrive on interacting with people and being the center of attention. They inspire others with their charm and warm personality. They can read other people very easily and use their intuitive skills to adapt effortlessly to changing situations. They are excellent at exciting and persuading others to follow their suggestions. They often speak without spending too much time thinking about what to say.
When communicating with a Right-brain Concrete person, you are likely to experience the following characteristics:
At times, you might find their ebullient need to be the center of attention to be overpowering or annoying.
Like therapists, they can sometimes encourage you to open up and confide with them about personal problems or concerns you have. You're usually okay with this, as long as they don't pry too deeply or push their solutions too strongly.
As much as you think before you speak, they think by speaking. They are excellent at exciting and persuading others to follow their suggestions.
Even if they don't take logic or factual data into account, they may come up with innovative or imaginative ideas that are worthy of your consideration.
Since you both like to come up with ideas, the verbal interaction can be both personally rewarding and productive. They may not share your visionary creativity, but they often have an intuitive sense of what is most suited for you.
They can sometimes seem manipulative in getting their way. While you might find their personal charm and charisma irresistible, don't allow yourself to be swayed in a direction that you know is not right for you.
People who have a predominantly Left-brain Concrete thinking style are action-oriented and thrive on challenge. As movers of people and organizations, they enforce rules, focus on goals, meet deadlines, and demand immediate action. They typically avoid getting bogged down in details and want to go directly to the bottom line. They prefer short and easy action-items or conclusions. They are decisive people who want to get things done quickly and efficiently.

When communicating with a Left-brain Concrete person, you are likely to experience the following characteristics:
You might find their style at times overbearing or in some cases, even intimidating. As a result, you're likely to interact with them only as much as absolutely necessary.
When it comes to solving problems, they view feelings or abstract concepts as intrusions that prevent them from reaching a firm conclusion. You'd be better off not allowing your feelings to become too much of an issue.
On the other hand, your feelings about certain situations are paramount to your comfort level, so don't be afraid to let them know how important that is to you.
There might be times that you will feel they are pushing too hard to get you to make a final decision. On the other hand, you might be struggling with all the options you're considering and could benefit from their decisive nature.
Don't be offended by their direct talk if it seems abrupt � they are goal-oriented people who know how to get things done.
When communicating with another Left-brain Concrete, you are likely to experience the following characteristics:
Like you, they tend to be visionary thinkers who look at the big picture and try to understand how things relate to each other.
They value creative, inspirational options as much as you do. They can usually provide interesting alternatives that would be worth your while to consider. At times, however, you might become a bit irritated with their tendency to go off on tangents when you're trying to focus on a particular issue of concern.
With the tendency you both have to procrastinate while exploring your options, one of you will need to refocus your energies on making a decision when the need to accomplish something arises.
You are both open-minded and feelings-oriented. Together, you are likely to create a relaxed, low-key atmosphere based on trust and good rapport.
Remember to be patient with their quiet, reflective nature; just like you, they may be thinking of other options that are more suitable for you or for themselves.
Ultimately, you both need to feel comfortable with how your decisions fit into your world.

Stresses
Using the Analyzer style can create stress for you. Yes, you can use it for short periods of time as a learning or production tool. But, the longer you use it, the more stressed you become. Your energy-focus, which accesses this particular process, may be blocked sometimes. It's as if you have a blind spot in this part of your repertoire. You just don't like to have to use it as a primary tool. The following is what may create stress for you if used for more than short time periods:
Constantly asking the question, "Why?" and thoroughly examining the answers
Always being skeptical about your facts, thinking or learning processes before undertaking or doing something
Reaching a conclusion only based on thinking logically
Using only factual assumptions to reach detailed, action-oriented steps
Not expressing your opinions until they demonstrate an impeccable rationale

the missing link has been found. . . . we are it.

Ok, I know I said I'd give you the rating system. Actually, over the course of this blog, I have made several promises about later posts that have fallen through for one reason or another. I feel that I need to explain in the effort of full disclosure. I will eventually get around to it. That is a guarantee. You just have to wait for it, even though my reward is not the same. You'll understand what I'm talking about after this post.

Men are simpler forms of life than women. Some might say less evolved, others might say men have reached a higher state of conciousness. Both would be wrong.

Scientifically, we are not as smart as women, if you consider complexity and emotional range as a sign of intelligence as many in the scientific community believe. While men are not inferior in intellectual capacity to women (or vice versa) we are at least less complex, mostly due to societal trends and behavioral boundaries. These things we learn from our fore-fathers and influences.

A little background to help you understand the mindset. Men are problem oriented. We look for the best solution for a given problem and go with it. The first solution is usually the best one. If the end result is the same, it doesn't matter how we get there. We have a need to be right, and need the acknowledgement that we are right. We hate to argue, unless we are right. Then we will argue with a brick wall and are just about as flexible as one on that issue. We live life on our terms, and don't consider that we might be wrong until something falls apart. We are simple creatures.

Basically, Men need three things to be happy (we want others, but these are the NEEDS),

1. regular sex (regular in frequency and in style)
2. regular sex (regular in frequency, not necessarily in style)
3. regular sex (regular in frequency, a combination of regular and irregular in style)

That's it. That is the sum of a man's desires. Everything else we want we can get from our buddies. Guy's want to hang out with other guys 90% of the time. We won't admit it to you, because of want #1, 2 & 3. We really just want to do guy stuff unless we are filling on of those 3 needs. Don't believe me. Ok, here is a scenario for you. Tell me if I'm wrong.

1: We start a project and let it sit half finished for the next 6 months. Then we'll finish it off in two days once we get tired of the complaining and nagging about it that inevitably ensues. Sounds like us, right? Why didn't we finish it in the 1st place?

All because of want #1 and as a reward, we might get #3. I'll explain. You add something to the honey-do list. We get around to actually starting it. You are happy. We get #1. We make good progress. We get #2. We stall out and don't finish it. . . . . We might get #2 again as a bribe. You nag us. We start on it again and get #1 as a reward. We finish it. We get #3 as a reward, possibly twice. If we had just ripped it out and closed the project out in a day or two, we get #1 and maybe #3. That's it, the best we could hope for. If we wait an eternity and then start and drag it out, then we get Two #1's, Two # 2's and at least one #3. (see how our minds work now, no, but your getting closer)

We want to drink, fart and scratch and not have to worry about offending anyone. We love crude jokes, and think of all women as sex objects on some level, no matter how enlightened we are. We are hunters. We pursue, we attain, we celebrate the achievement. We keep score because we want to win. We want to see ourselves as the best, or at least better than the other guys we know. That is why we like sports so much. It's aggressive and masculine. We all want to be masculine. We are (at least in our own minds) the dominant and stronger of the species. We don't have to win if we know we could. So we might lose on purpose, maybe. . . . especially if it is a coed participation event and there is a possibility of our losing making #1 and/or #3 possible. Do we tell you this? No! Why? Because we have our needs and offending you is a sure way of inhibiting our getting them fulfilled.

We want to hang out with the fellas and drink beer, watch the game, come home late and get rewarded with #3 for coming home. Will that ever happen? Not likely. What happens, is that we cut out our friends, sublimate most of our wants and desires to keep you happy and hopefully get rewards for our good behavior. We work, so You'll feel secure and give us #1. We come home, so You'll feel special and give us #2. We buy valentines day junk, you guessed it, so we can get #3.

Ok, I'm not saying that this is right. That we should be insensitive pigs who only think of ourselves, just that we do. Actually, the only difference in an enlightened man and your average Joe. . . . those of us that are enlightened would rather hang out with women most of the time. . . . provided she likes to drink beer and watch sports. Women have better conversation during the commercials. Plus, there is an outside chance that you can get # 1 or #2 during half time and possibly #3 if your team wins. Much better to be with the ladies than a bunch of gassy drunk guys at that point.

See, problem oriented. We come up with an equitable solution and stick with it, even if it isn't the best. Simple creatures.

Today starts a new era. . . . or year. . . . . whatever.

I officially start the ninth year of my marriage today. I never knew I could be this blessed. If I'd have known just how lucky I was, I'd have bought a lottery ticket the day I met my wife. As it is, I just got the best wife ever, and not the millions of dollars. If given the choice between the two, I'd still take the wife and not the money. Hey, what can I say. Money comes and goes, but Love can last forever.